a good compromise...

Mediation is not about getting people to compromise and compromise should not be a mediator’s goal. If you’re a mediator that uses the word “compromise” or even thinks it in your mediation sessions, it’s time to stop! Meeting someone half way means no one ever arrives! The beauty of mediation is that it allows people to go far beyond positions and luke warm compromises to a place where their real interests and needs are addressed. The driving force behind the conversation changes from staunch demands to dialoguing about the things that truly matter. Instead of merely settling for a “middle ground” concession, parties are free to be creative in problem solving, often resulting in options that are satisfying to both. In my mediation practice I’ve noted that the deeper interests of parties are usually in regards to broken trust and dignity, not something with which you can “split the difference” or barter over. When the mediator facilitates and empowers both parties to focus on interests, the parties are more apt to collaborate on and customize an optimal agreement. The best outcomes are always the ones generated and driven by the parties.